Continue reading »]]> EVERYONE WANT TO KNOW, WILL THING X BECOME WAVE OF FUTURE, OR BIG DUD?

IT EASY TO FIGURE OUT. JUST FOLLOW FAKEGRIMLOCK LAW OF FUTURE ADOPTION.

VALUE OF OLD = A
VALUE OF NEW * RELATIVE EASE OF USE = B

IF A < B, B = FUTURE

EARLY INTERNET GOOD EXAMPLE. IT MORE USEFUL THAN USE PAPER, BUT HARD TO USE.

1 (PAPER) < 11 (INTERNET) * 0.1 (ONLY USABLE BY NERDS)

THAT WHY TAKE INTERNET LONG TIME TO CATCH ON. BACK IN 80S IT ONLY WIN FOR SERIOUS NERDS.

WHEN EQUATION BECOME

1 (PAPER) < 11 (INTERNET) * 2 (ANYONE CAN USE ON PHONE)

INTERNET DESTROY EVERYTHING.

USE EQUATION WHEN DESIGN PRODUCT. IF IT LESS EASY TO USE THAN WHAT EXIST, IT HAVE TO BE LOTS MORE USEFUL.

IF IT NOT MORE USEFUL, IT HAVE TO BE LOTS MORE EASY.

IF IT MORE USEFUL AND MORE EASY, YOU WIN.

Continue reading »]]> NOW EVERYONE IN PART OF INTERNET THAT MATTER KNOW ME, FAKEGRIMLOCK, SOON START KICKSTARTER TO MAKE NEW BOOK. IF YOU NOT ONE OF THEM, SIGN UP HERE FOR GET EMAIL WHEN IT TIME TO BE AWESOME.

ME LIKE GET FEEDBACK. SO ME LIST DONOR LEVELS BELOW. YOU LOOK, DECIDE WHICH ONE YOU WANT, TELL ME WHAT THINK.

OR ELSE!

(IF MISS POST WITH STRETCH GOALS, CLICK THESE WORDS. THEM LINK TO IT.)

*ME DELIVER ALL BADGE GRAPHICS AS HI RES OR VECTOR. OR BOTH.

$1 OR MORE
LEVEL 0 SUPPORTER
YOU GET DIGITAL COPY OF BOOK, AND ANY BONUS ITEMS. BUT NO PHYSICAL COPY OF ANYTHING. YOU INCLUDED IN DONOR LIST AT END OF BOOK, GET SPECIAL DONOR BADGE GRAPHIC WITH OWN NAME TO PUT ON WEBSITE.

$30
LEVEL 1 SUPPORTER
YOU GET COPY OF BOOK, IN ACTUAL HANDS, CAN READ WITH PUNY HUMAN EYES! ALSO GET ANY BONUS ITEMS REACHED. YOU INCLUDED IN DONOR LIST AT END OF BOOK, GET DONOR BADGE GRAPHIC WITH NAME.

$50
LEVEL 2 SUPPORTER
YOU GET ONE COPY OF BOOK, SIGNED BY ME, FAKEGRIMLOCK! ALSO GET ANY BONUS ITEMS REACHED. ME PROBABLY NOT SIGN THE EXTRA THINGS. YOU INCLUDED IN DONOR LIST AT END OF BOOK, GET DONOR BADGE GRAPHIC WITH NAME.

$75
LEVEL 3 SUPPORTER
YOU GET ONE COPY OF BOOK, SIGNED BY ME, FAKEGRIMLOCK, AND COLOR MICROPOSTER PACK WITH 4 SMALL COLOR POSTERS! ALSO GET ANY BONUS ITEMS REACHED. ME PROBABLY NOT SIGN THE EXTRA THINGS. YOU INCLUDED IN DONOR LIST AT END OF BOOK, GET DONOR BADGE GRAPHIC WITH NAME.

$100
LEVEL 4 SUPPORTER
YOU GET ONE COPY OF BOOK, SIGNED BY ME, FAKEGRIMLOCK, AND COLOR MICROPOSTER MEGAPACK WITH 12 SMALL COLOR POSTERS! ALSO GET ANY BONUS ITEMS REACHED. ME PROBABLY NOT SIGN THE EXTRA THINGS. YOU INCLUDED IN DONOR LIST AT END OF BOOK, GET DONOR BADGE GRAPHIC WITH NAME.

$150
ADVENTURING PARTY
YOU GET 4 COPIES OF BOOK. ALL SIGNED. SHARE WITH FRIENDS, OR SAVE EXTRA 3 AS BACKUP IN CASE SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAPPEN TO FIRST ONE. ALSO GET 1 SET OF ANY BONUS ITEMS REACHED. YOU INCLUDED IN DONOR LIST AT END OF BOOK, GET DONOR BADGE GRAPHIC WITH NAME.

$200
LEVEL 4 ADVENTURING PARTY
YOU GET 4 COPIES OF BOOK. ALL SIGNED. SHARE WITH FRIENDS, OR SAVE EXTRA 3 AS BACKUP IN CASE SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAPPEN TO FIRST ONE. ALSO GET 1 SET OF ANY BONUS ITEMS REACHED, AND COLOR MICROPOSTER MEGAPACK. YOU INCLUDED IN DONOR LIST AT END OF BOOK, GET DONOR BADGE GRAPHIC WITH NAME.

$300
UPGRADE OFFICE TO AWESOME
YOU GET 10 COPIES OF BOOK, ALL SIGNED. SHARE WITH WHOLE PUNY OFFICE, PRODUCTIVITY GO UP 100X. ALSO GET 1 SET OF BONUS ITEMS. YOU INCLUDED IN DONOR LIST AT END OF BOOK, WITH URL TO WEBSITE. ALSO GET DONOR BADGE GRAPHIC WITH NAME.

$350
UPGRADE OFFICE TO EVEN MORE AWESOME
YOU GET 10 COPIES OF BOOK, ALL SIGNED. SHARE WITH WHOLE PUNY OFFICE, PRODUCTIVITY GO UP 10X. ALSO GET 1 SET OF BONUS ITEMS, TWO MICROPOSTER MEGAPACKS. YOU INCLUDED IN DONOR LIST AT END OF BOOK, WITH URL TO WEBSITE. ALSO GET DONOR BADGE GRAPHIC WITH NAME.

$500 (6)
ADVENTURER LEVEL SUPPORTER
ME, FAKEGRIMLOCK, DRAW ORIGINAL PICTURE ON ANY SUBJECT FOR YOU, RELEASE AS CREATIVE COMMONS. YOU CAN PUT ON WEBSITE, COMPANY MARKETING, WHATEVER YOU WANT. YOU GET ORIGINAL ART TOO, ON NICE PAPER. PLUS 4 COPIES OF BOOK, SIGNED, AND 1 SET OF BONUS ITEMS PLUS MICROPOSTER MEGAPACK. YOU INCLUDED IN SPECIAL SECTION OF DONOR LIST AT END OF BOOK, WITH LITTLE DRAWING ME MAKE OF YOU, AND URL TO WEBSITE. ALSO GET ADVENTURER LEVEL DONOR BADGE GRAPHIC WITH NAME.

$1000 (1)
HEROIC LEVEL SUPPORTER 1
ME, FAKEGRIMLOCK, DRAW ORIGINAL PICTURE OF YOU AND ME DO SOMETHING AWESOME, PUT IT IN THE BOOK, AND WRITE ONE PAGE OF WORDS NEXT TO IT, INCLUDE URL IF WANT. ME ALSO SEND YOU 10 COPIES OF BOOK, SIGNED, FOR GIVE TO LOYAL MINIONS, PLUS 1 SET OF BONUS ITEMS, 1 MICROPOSTER MEGAPACK. ALSO GET HEROIC LEVEL DONOR BADGE GRAPHIC WITH NAME.

$2000 (1)
HEROIC LEVEL SUPPORTER 2
SAME AS HEROIC LEVEL SUPPORTER 1, BUT YOU NOT AS FAST WITH CLICK DONATE BUTTON.

$3000 (1)
HEROIC LEVEL SUPPORTER 3
SAME AS HEROIC LEVEL SUPPORTER 2, BUT EVEN LESS FAST.

$5000 (3)
EPIC LEVEL SUPPORTER
ME, FAKEGRIMLOCK, DRAW ORIGINAL PICTURE OF YOU AND ME DO SOMETHING AWESOME, PUT IT IN THE BOOK, AND WRITE ONE PAGE OF WORDS NEXT TO IT, INCLUDE URL IF WANT. PICTURE ALSO BECOME MINI POSTER, SEND ONE COPY TO EACH PERSON THAT DONATE. ME ALSO SEND YOU ORIGINAL ART OF DRAWING, ON NICE 11 X 17 PAPER. PLUS YOU GET 10 COPIES OF BOOK, SIGNED, SO YOU CAN SHOW OFF PAGE WITH YOU IN IT TO ALL FRIENDS, AND 1 SET BONUS ITEMS, 1 MICROPOSTER MEGAPACK. ALSO GET EPIC LEVEL DONOR BADGE GRAPHIC WITH NAME.

$10,000 (1)
LEGENDARY LEVEL SUPPORTER
ME, FAKEGRIMLOCK, VISIT YOU FOR ONE DAY, PROBABLY FRIDAY. GIVE WHATEVER ADVICE WANT. OR DM ONE SESSION OF RPG. ME DO IN HUMANMODE, NO PHOTOS ALLOWED. ME SEND YOU 10 COPIES OF BOOK, WILL SIGN ALL OF THEM ON-SITE. ALSO SEND 10 COPIES OF OTHER BONUS ITEMS, 10 MICROPOSTER MEGAPACKS, AND DRAW ORIGINAL PICTURE FOR PUT IN BOOK, AND TURN INTO MINIPOSTER, SAME AS EPIC LEVEL SUPPORTER. PLUS LEGENDARY LEVEL DONOR BADGE GRAPHIC WITH NAME.

UPDATE: ME JUST FIND OUT KICKSTARTER NOT ALLOW DONATION OVER $10,000, HAVE TO ERASE ALL LEVELS BELOW. BUT ME LEAVE IN POST SO YOU CAN SEE WHAT NOT GOING TO HAPPEN NOW,

IF ANYONE WANT TO SEND MONEY DIRECTLY, US WORK SOMETHING OUT

$20,000 (1)
GODLIKE LEVEL SUPPORTER
ME, FAKEGRIMLOCK, ARRIVE THURSDAY NIGHT, SPEND FRIDAY, SATURDAY, HALF OF SUNDAY WITH YOU IN HUMANMODE. HOW YOU SURVIVE THAT MUCH AWESOMENESS UP TO YOU. ME SEND 10 COPIES OF BOOK, 10 SETS OF BONUS ITEMS, 10 MICROPOSTER MEGAPACKS, WILL SIGN ALL BOOKS ON-SITE. ALSO DRAW ORIGINAL PICTURE, PUT IN BOOK, MAKE MINIPOSTER, SAME AS EPIC LEVEL SUPPORTER. PLUS GODLIKE LEVEL DONOR BADGE GRAPHIC WITH NAME.

$50,000 (1)
SOCIAL MEDIA OMEGAGOD LEVEL SUPPORTER
THIS SOME SERIOUS STUFF. YOU GET FULL SOCIAL MEDIA CONSULTATION AND MAKEOVER FROM ME, FAKEGRIMLOCK. ME DIG DEEP INTO HOW YOU DO EVERYTHING YOU DOING, MAKE NEW SOCIAL MEDIA PLAN FOR YOU, TEACH YOU TO EXECUTE IT. THIS TRANSFORM ANYONE INTO UNSTOPPABLE FORCE OF AWESOME ON INTERNET. IT COME WITH 1 HUMANMODE WEEKEND IN PERSON, UP TO TWO WEEKS OF FULL ATTENTION FROM GRIMCAVE. INCLUDES DRAW PICTURE IN BOOK, MAKE MINIPOSTER, SAME AS EPIC LEVEL. PLUS 10 BOOKS ME SIGN, 10 SETS OF BONUS ITEMS, 10 MICROPOSTER MEGAPACKS. IT ALSO COME WITH OMEGAGOD DONOR BADGE GRAPHIC WITH NAME.

$100,000 (1)
THE LEVEL THAT NOT BE NAMED
IF ANYONE DO THIS, US NEGOTIATE.

NO MISS OUT. THIS BE MOST EPIC EVENT ON INTERNET SINCE HTML1 INVENTED. SIGN UP NOW.

Continue reading »]]> ME, FAKEGRIMLOCK, GREATEST ROBOT STARTUP DINOSAUR IN UNIVERSE, LAUNCH KICKSTARTER FOR NEW BOOK SOON.

IT FULL OF EVERYTHING ME WRITE, DRAW. SOME NO ONE EVER SEE BEFORE.

BELOW GOALS FOR KICKSTARTER. SOME OF THEM AUDACIOUS. ME REVEAL FOR FEEDBACK. YOU GIVE FEEDBACK, OR ELSE!

UPDATE: NEW POST UP WITH DONOR LEVELS. CLICK TO SEE.

$10,000 – KICKSTART:
PRINT SOFTBACK BOOK.

$20,000 – POSTER:
FREE BLACK AND WHITE MINI POSTER FOR EVERYONE

$30,000 – GO HARD:
HARDCOVER BOOK HAPPEN. PLUS EVERYONE GET DIGITIAL COPY

$40,000 – BETTER POSTER:
MINI POSTER UPGRADED TO COLOR

$50,000 – SHIRT:
EVERYONE GET FREE T-SHIRT

$60,000 – PRESENTS!:
ME, FAKEGRIMLOCK, DELIVER CASE OF BOOKS TO KIDS LEARNING TO CODE AT CODER DOJO NYC, ENOUGH EVERYONE IN CLASS CAN HAVE ONE COPY.

$70,000 – GRIMLOCK GRIMTONGUE:
ME, FAKEGRIMLOCK, RECORD AUDIO VERSION OF 1ST BOOK, MAKE CREATIVE COMMONS.

$80,000 – MORE PRESENTS!:
ME, FAKEGRIMLOCK, SHIP 300 COPIES OF BOOK TO SMART HACKERS AT HACKER DOJO IN CALIFORNIA, ENOUGH EVERYONE HAVE ONE COPY.

$90,000 – MORE GRIMLOCK:
EVERYONE GET FREE COPY 2ND BOOK “ME SAID THIS” COLLECTION OF ALL BEST THINGS ME TWEET, WITH 1 NEW ILLUSTRATION PER PAGE.

$100,000 – CHICKEN!:
EVERYONE RECEIVE FREE COPY OF FULL COLOR BOOK “THE NO EAT CHICKEN” WHEN IT FINISHED. IT FOR TINY HUMAN SPAWN AND BIG HUMANS TOO!

$150,000 – MOUSE!:
EVERYONE RECEIVE FREE COPY OF FULL COLOR BOOK “GO AHEAD, MOVE MY CHEESE” WHEN IT FINISHED. GOOD FOR SPAWN AND OLD HUMANS.

$200,000 – NEW CHARACTER NOT NAMED YET!:
EVERYONE RECEIVE FREE COPY OF FULL COLOR BOOK “THE NIGHT BEFORE AWESOME” WHEN IT FINISHED. IT GREAT XMAS PRESENT FOR HUMANS, LITTLE OR BIG.

$300,000 – FAKEGRIMLOCK WORLDWIDE:
ME, FAKEGRIMLOCK, QUIT CURRENT STARTUP, SPEND ONE YEAR DO NOTHING BUT MAKE AWESOME FAKEGRIMLOCK STUFF. EVERYONE THAT DONATE GET FREE COPY OF EVERYTHING ME MAKE UNTIL APRIL 2014.

$500,000 – THE GRIMSTARTER:
ME, FAKEGRIMLOCK, VISIT 6 STARTUPS, ONE EVERY OTHER MONTH, SPEND 1 DAY MAKING THEM AWESOME. THEM CHOSEN FROM DONORS AT RANDOM. ME VIDEO AND POST ABOUT EXPERIENCE.

$1,000,000 – THE GRIMFUND:
ME, FAKEGRIMLOCK, BECOME ANGEL INVESTOR, INVEST MONEY IN 6 STARTUPS ME VISIT, ONE EVERY OTHER MONTH.

SIGN UP FOR LEARN WHEN KICKSTARTER GO LIVE HERE, BE FIRST TO GRAB BONUS LEVELS.

Continue reading »]]> ME, GRIMLOCK, GETTING CLOSE TO COMPLETION OF FIRST MASTER PLAN.

IT BOOK.

BOOK HAVE THINGS ME WRITE, DRAW. SOME, YOU MAYBE ALREADY SEE. OTHERS, NO ONE SEE BEFORE. IT HAVE ALL INSTRUCTIONS ME WRITE FOR HOW BE AWESOME.

IT IMPORTANT TO BUY. MAKE LIFE 3000% BETTER.

WHEN IT DONE, IT GO ONE KICKSTARTER. ME LEARN LESSON FROM POSTERS. KICKSTARTER NOT START UNTIL EVERYTHING COMPLETELY DONE, READY TO GO.

YOU WANT TO KNOW WHEN THAT HAPPEN?

SIGN UP AT LAUNCHROCKET PAGE, ME SEND EMAIL WHEN IT READY.

(NO CONFUSE WITH OTHER AWESOME BOOK ME MAKE DRAWINGS FOR, LEAN ENTREPRENEUR)

Continue reading »]]> ME, GRIMLOCK, ALL OVER INTERNET LATELY. HERE LINKS IN CASE YOU PUNY HUMAN MISS THEM, NO WANT TO LIVE REST OF LIFE IN HORRIBLE IGNORANCE.

LEGENDARY ERIC REIS ANNOUNCE ME, FAKEGRIMLOCK, ILLUSTRATING LEAN ENTREPRENEUR BOOK. AFTER THAT HIM FLY BACK INTO CLOUDS TO BATTLE SPACE GODS.

TECH.LI WRITER KATE HOUGH WRITE ABOUT WHY ME, FAKEGRIMLOCK, REALLY JUST ME, FAKEGRIMLOCK. IT SURPRISINGLY HARD CONCEPT TO GRASP. ME BLAME EVOLUTION. IT GET MOST HUMANS UP TO LEVEL OF FIND FOOD, WATCH JERSEY SHORE, THEN CALL IT A DAY AND HIT THE BARS.

SOME FAMOUS GUY NAME SCOTT FOE ASK ME COMMENT ON HIM BLOG, SO ME DO. IT PRETTY GOOD ARTICLE, IT EXPLAIN WHY EVEN IF USE HUGE MONEY HAMMER FORCE ROUND GOAL INTO SQUARE PRODUCT, RESULT IS JUST BROKEN MESS, HUGE WASTE OF MONEY. THAT STILL NOT STOP COMPANY LIKE GOOGLE, NOKIA, MICROSOFT FROM TRY IT OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

TRAVIS LEE STREET IS NOT ACTUAL STREET. HIM MAN INSTEAD. BUT HIM STILL WRITE INSIGHTFUL ARTICLE ABOUT WHAT FAKEGRIMLOCK DOING DESPITE PRACTICING FOUL DECEPTION WITH NAME.

THIS FROM WEEK OR TWO AGO, THAT LIKE THIRTY BILLION YEARS IN INTERNET TIME. GIVEFORWARD LEAK OUT NEWS THAT ME, FAKEGRIMLOCK SECRETLY ADVISE THEM. EXCEPT NOT SECRET NOW. THEM GOOD GUYS, HARDLY EVER COMPLAIN WHEN PUNCH IN FACE WITH FIST OF TRUTH.

ALSO, BRAD FELD INVOLVED. HIM PRETTY AWESOME.

THAT IT. IF WANT MORE BEST OF GRIMLOCK, CHECK TWYLAH PAGE, OR FAVSTAR PAGE OF TOP TWEETS.

Continue reading »]]> TWITTER FOR LIGHT INTERACTION WITH MOSTLY STRANGERS.

FACEBOOK FOR LIGHT TO SEMI-DEEP INTERACTION WITH MOSTLY FRIENDS.

NEITHER COVER TRANSACTIONAL RELATIONSHIPS WITH STRANGERS THAT COULD BECOME FRIENDS.

THIS HOLE WHERE STARTUPS LIKE AIRBNB, SKILLSHARE, ZAARLY, LIVE.

SOMEONE NEED TO FILL HOLE.

INSTEAD OF DOZENS OF NETWORKS COVERING ONE TRANSACTION TYPE EACH, WORLD NEED SOCIAL NETWORK THAT DO ONE OF TWO THINGS:

A) COVER “FIND PERSON THAT DO X, MAKE DEAL”

OR

B) COVER LIGHT INTERACTIONS WITH WORLD (TWITTER), DEEP INTERACTIONS WITH FRIENDS (BETTER THAN FACEBOOK), AND TRANSACTIONAL INTERACTIONS WITH WORLD OR FRIENDS (EVERYTHING IN-BETWEEN)

THAT SECOND ONE HARD. BUT IT WHERE WIN THE INTERNET IS.

SOMEONE NEED TO BUILD NOW, BEFORE GRIMLOCK DO.

Continue reading »]]> ME, GRIMLOCK, WORKING ON … THING.

IT REQUIRE GENIUS BACKEND DEV/ARCHITECT PERSON. NO TIME FOR ME, GRIMLOCK, DO ON OWN.

IF YOU, PUNY HUMAN, THINK YOU CAN THROW RIGHT KIND OF LIGHTNING FROM FINGERTIPS TO APPLY FOR DO, EMAIL AWESOME ANSWERS TO THESE QUESTIONS TO DEV AT SIGN FAKEGRIMLOCK.COM.

QUESTION 1:
IF ME, GRIMLOCK, TELL YOU US GOING TO BUILD TWITTER OR FACEBOOK TYPE THING FROM SCRATCH, BUT DO IT RIGHT, HOW YOU DO THAT? GIVE AS MUCH DETAIL AS YOU THINK REQUIRED TO PROVE YOU KNOW WHAT TALKING ABOUT AND NOT JUST SOME IDIOT READ TECH CRUNCH ONCE.

QUESTION 2:

GIVE DETAILED ANSWER WHY NODE, SCALA, ERLANG, ROR OR OTHER HOT SEXY NEW THING ON HACKERNEWS BETTER FOR BUILD MASSIVELY SCALEABLE WEB THING THAN LANGUAGE THAT ACTUALLY WORK, LIKE JAVA.

INCLUDE DETAILS ON HOW IT WORK GREAT WITH FAVORITE DB THAT NOT MYSQL FOR BONUS POINTS.

QUESTION 3:

HOW MANY EMAIL/IM/BLOGGING/MESSAGING CLIENTS YOU BUILT FROM SCRATCH BEFORE? IF ANSWER IS ZERO, YOU PROBABLY FAIL. UNLESS YOU SO BALLS OUT AWESOME ANSWER IS “ZERO, BUT GIVE ME A FEW HOURS”.

QUESTION 4:

IMAGINE YOU HAVE ACCESS TO GOOGLE DATABASE. PSEUDOCODE OUT MOST EFFICIENT WAY POSSIBLE FOR DETERMINING WHICH ENGINEER THERE THOUGHT “WHY IS A MANHOLE COVER ROUND” A CLEVER INTERVIEW QUESTION, AND REPLACE HIS G+ PROFILE WITH TUBGIRL.

QUESTION 5:

WRITE EQUATION FOR DETERMINING YOUR CHANCES OF SURVIVAL VS. X NINJAS, TAKING INTO ACCOUNT LAW OF CONSERVATION OF NINJITSU (WITHOUT CONSULTING TVTROPES.COM), AND ASSUMING YOU ARE ARMED ONLY WITH 1 TOWEL.*

*TOWEL IS NOT VORPEL, EPIC, ENCHANTED, ADAMANTIUM, THE PLATONIC IDEAL OF TOWELS STOLEN FROM THE ENDLESS, THE TOWEL OF VECNA, FROM PRE-CRISIS KRYPTON, OR SECRETLY THE TZEMISCE ANTIDELUVIAN.

SOME RESTRICTIONS APPLY:

THIS PROBABLY ONLY FOR PUNY HUMANS IN AMERICA, LOTS BETTER IF ON EAST COAST. ME, GRIMLOCK, NO WANT TO HAVE TO GO TOO FAR IF YOU SCREW UP, NEED TO BE DEVOURED. BUT IT POSSIBLE BE CONVINCED OTHERWISE FOR SUFFICIENT AWESOME.

THIS ALSO NO HAVE GIANT PILE OF MONEY ATTACHED YET. ME, GRIMLOCK, BELIEVE IN LINE UP RIGHT TEAM, BUILD MVP BEFORE TELL VC TO EMPTY OUT VAULTS. NO GET EXCITED AND QUIT DAYJOB.

Continue reading »]]> THIS POSTED HERE TO MAKE SURE EVERYONE UNDERSTAND IS CREATIVE COMMONS. REPOST ANYWHERE WANT, WITH ATTRIBUTION. OR ELSE!

IT NEW YEAR. YOU SUCK.

TIME TO DESTROY SUCK, BE AWESOME INSTEAD.

ME, FAKEGRIMLOCK, SAY BEST WAY IS BE STARTUP. BE LEAN. FIND MARKET. ITERATE UNTIL AWESOME.

NOW.

IT TIME FOR STARTUP YOU.

STEP 1: BE LEAN

YOUR LIFE FULL OF FAIL. EVERY DAY LIFE PAINT NEW LAYER OF EASY, LAZY, DO NOTHING ON YOU. YOU COVERED IN FAIL PAINT.

EVERYTHING NOT MAKE LONG TERM WIN IS FAIL PAINT. WORLD OF WARCRAFT. FACEBOOK. HANG OUT WITH LOSERS. EAT ANOTHER BIG MAC.

EACH TRIP THROUGH DRIVETHROUGH OF FAIL TURN YOUR TIME AND MONEY INTO MORE NOTHING. YOU WANT HAVE SOMETHING? FIND MCDONALDS OF YOUR SOUL.

BURN IT TO THE GROUND.

DESTROY FAIL PAINT. LIFE NEED ONLY TWO THINGS:

1. STAY ALIVE

2. WIN

STOP DOING EVERYTHING ELSE.

LINKS FOR REAL YOU IS LEAN YOU: WHAT LEAN STARTUP? * SOME BLOG ABOUT DO LESS STUFF * SIMPLE LIFE TUMBLR * BE YOU, NOT FAIL

STEP 2: FIND MARKET

MOST PEOPLE SPEND LIFE DOING THINGS THAT SUCK.

STOP.

LEAN LIFE ONLY HAVE THINGS THAT WIN. ONE OF THEM THING YOU LOVE TO DO.

DO THAT INSTEAD.

SOMEWHERE PEOPLE WANT WHAT YOU DO. SOMEHOW IS WAY GIVE IT TO THEM.

MAKE THAT HAPPEN.

DO THING YOU LOVE MAKE YOU MORE AWESOME. GIVE THING YOU LOVE TO OTHERS MAKE YOU MORE AWESOME. YOU MORE AWESOME MAKE YOU BETTER AT DO EVERYTHING.

THIS YOUR AWESOME ENGINE. WHEN IT TURN, YOU WIN.

TURN THAT ENGINE.

LINKS FOR TURN ENGINE: HOW STARTUPS DO IT * THIS PLACE FOR SELL STUFF MAKE * THIS PLACE FOR SELL ANYTHING * HOW TO SUPERCHARGE ENGINE

STEP 3: ITERATE UNTIL AWESOME

GET STARTED EASY. KEEP GOING HARD. YOU MUST BURN TO ESCAPE LAND OF DO NOTHING.

LAND OF DO NOTHING FULL OF FAIL. MOST PEOPLE AFRAID. DO NOTHING.

YOU NOT MOST PEOPLE.

MAKE THING YOU LOVE INTO FIST. SHOVE INTO BIGGEST FAIL YOU CAN HANDLE. SURVIVE PAIN. LEARN. REPEAT UNTIL WIN.

NOW FIND BIGGER FAIL.

PATH OUT OF NOTHING IS STACK OF WIN. CHOOSE RIGHT FAILS AND STACK WIN INTO VICTORY.

LINKS FOR ITERATE WIN: THIS IS HOW TO PICK RIGHT FAILS * LONG BORING ARTICLE ABOUT WHY FAIL IS GREAT * HARRY POTTER LADY ON HOW FAIL BEST THING SHE EVER DO

BUT WAIT, THERE MORE…

STEP 4: BALANCE

THIS PART EVERYONE FORGET.

BE AWESOME FOR 1 YEAR, BURNT OUT HUSK FOR REST OF LIFE NOT GOOD PLAN.

OPTIMIZE TO WIN FOR LIFE. USE WIN CAPACITORS.

WIN CAPACITOR NOT MAKE WIN ON OWN. IT STORE AWESOME FOR MAKE BIGGER WIN.

GOOD FOOD. SLEEP. BE FIT, HEALTHY. FRIENDS THAT NOT SUCK. HOT LOVING. NICE DOG. ALL GIVE EXTRA AWESOME WHEN TIME TO WIN.

FIND RIGHT WIN CAPACITORS FOR YOU. STACK TOGETHER, SPEND TIME MAKE THEM GREAT. EVERY SECOND SPEND ON WIN CAPACITOR IS 5 SECONDS OF MORE WIN WHEN NEED IT.

STEP 5: BE AWESOME, NOT ASSHOLE

THIS OTHER PART EVERYONE FORGET.

BE AWESOME FEEL GOOD. IF NOT FEEL EVEN BETTER FOR EVERYONE ELSE, YOU DOING IT WRONG.

BE AWESOME IS BURN WITH FIRE THAT MAKE EVERYONE WARM. BURN FOR JUST YOU IS BE ASSHOLE.

FORGET YOU. BE AWESOME FOR WORLD. BE AWESOME FOR SELF HAPPEN ON OWN.

THAT IT.

YOU READY. PEEL AWAY FAIL PAINT, STRAP AWESOME ENGINE TO BACK, GRAB WIN CAPACITORS AND ROCKET INTO SKY ON STACK OF WIN.

ONLY THING THAT STOP YOU IS YOU. GET OUT OF OWN WAY, SET COURSE TO AWESOME.

STARTUP YOU.